Office Murphylogy

Murphy’s office laws

Office Murphylogy

  1. Only on the rarest of the days you come late, you’d bump into your boss smoking at the entrance

  2. The printer is either out of toner or there is no paper only when the client asks for 10 copies of a 120 page report by evening

  1. The guy who just joins and takes over blames the last person who quit or was fired. So, the last guy who quit or got  fired is now blamed &  made responsible for everything that goes wrong, until the current person quits or is fired. Then the next person joins and the game is carried forward and goes on……

  2. The Pen-drive will not be even detected only when you want to cull out information from some Pen-drive. Just the day before that, you would have been playing music from the pen-drive and it would have worked fine.

  3. The frequency of mailing performed by a person varies in inverse proportion to the amount of work at hand

  1. When its a busy day for you, all your colleagues would be chatting just outside your cabin.

  2. The network would snap just when you were explaining an important point over a NetMeeting conference call.

  3. All mails except the most important one, which was sent way before, will find their way into your inbox.

  4. The client will call only when you had left for a coffee break. And when you call back, he/she won’t be available in office.

  5. Your Security will insist on you leaving by 7:00 on the very day when you have to stay till 10:00 to meet an important deadline

  6. The display settings on your computer will play havoc only when you have to finish a presentation by afternoon.

  7. Of all the vehicles in the parking, yours would be most difficult to take out when it is an emergency

  8. Only when you want to piss urgently would all the urinals be taken

  9. The client would not have gone through the report/brief before attending your well rehearsed presentation

  10. The better your presentation, least the impact

  11. When the telephone operator leaves the board on night mode all the calls would land only on your desk

  12. When you are attending a client call on a colleagues desk, and need to jot down urgently, none of the pens on his desk would write if not you wouldn’t find a piece of paper within your reach

  13. You’d find the important Phone number/e-mail ID you had been looking for, only after you had got in touch with that person by some other means

  14. When you are out of office, the most important of desk-phone calls would be attended by the least concerned of your colleagues who wouldn’t even care to ask who it was.. or wouldn’t remember

  15. Only on the rarest of the days you come late, you’d bump into your boss smoking at the entrance

  16. The Pend-drive which worked perfectly alright few minutes ago on your machine will not open in your boss’s or client’s machine

  17. The coffee machine will be empty, when you need coffee most

  18. After a really hard day of work, when starting your car at 11:00 pm in the night to leave office, you’ll realize that you’ve run out of gas
    Corollary: It’s only after you run out of gas, you’ll remember that the nearest gas station is at least 5 miles away

  19. The stapler will be out of pins when needed

  20. When there are two possible forms to fill out on any given matter, the wrong form is always filled out at first

  21. The wrong form is not discovered until it has been signed by all parties concerned, sealed, and delivered

  22. And, once the right form has been filled out, signed by all parties concerned, sealed, and delivered, it turns out it was filled out wrong

  23. Trust me, paper is always strongest at the perforations

  24. The 90-90 Rule of Project Management: The first 90% of a project requires 90% of the allotted time. The remaining 10% takes another 90% of the allotted time.

  25. When reading this page at work your boss will pop-up (behind your back) and ask you why aren’t you working

  26. So, Rule #1: The boss is always right

  27. And, Rule #2: If the boss is wrong refer to rule #1

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